The Love and Lose of Dearest Friends
by HPWeasleyTwins
Summary: Over the years Remus Lupin noticed a lot of things about his best mates and yet somehow for all his know how he missed some very important details. Read on to enjoy a much beloved couples rise and fall as seen by one of their best friends, the one and only Remus Lupin. And then read further to discover all the other untold adventures, small and large, of the doomed couple.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n obvi don't own, all JK. Just love Marauders.**

 **Note: Same world as Ascella**

 **Note the 2nd: Work in progress, would love insight but mostly just enjoy (hopefully!)**

There were a lot of things no body knew about Sirius Black, things even his closest friends could only guess at but there was was one thing everybody did know: Sirius Black didn't date. No body knew why; he had more girls in the whole castle hopelessly in love with him than all the other Marauder's combined, but he didn't notice, and if he did, he didn't care. This attitude of course only made him all the more attractive to the girls of Hogwarts.

If you asked Remus Lupin why Sirius Black never dated or showed any interest in his many admirer's he'd have told you to mind your own business. In truth he didn't know the answer but he had a guess. Well two if you wanted to be precise. The first was related to how his tumultuous upbringing had affected him; Sirius wasn't capable of letting someone in that wasn't James, Peter, or Remus himself. He didn't have much to give and what he did he gave to them and that didn't leave room for anyone else. The second and perhaps more influential reason was simple; Sirius Black had already been caught by a girl. By who you ask? By none other than one Marlene McKinnon, that's who.

By Remus's reckoning he'd guess Sirius had been caught sometime during their first year. Now this wasn't because Sirius was like James with Lily: he didn't follow her around, or tease her, or speak to her more than necessary (or at all that Remus could tell) or stare moonily at her across the room. In fact if Remus wasn't the observant one of the group and hadn't gotten to know Sirius so well he'd likely never have even noticed it, but once he had it became all too obvious to him.

Early on it became a well known fact that Sirius and James sat next to each other in Defense Against the Dark Arts. If James was skivving or sick no one else was allowed to sit in his empty seat. Remus had seen people try but Sirius glared at them until they left or they would later leave of their own volition due to some mishap or other that had occurred, caused by Sirius no doubt. So it was that when Remus saw Marlene flounce down into the seat next to Sirius halfway through first year Remus looked up half apprehensive and half amused, waiting to see what Sirius would do.

To Remus's surprise however Sirius merely glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and turned his attention back to looking as elegantly bored as he usually did. He even responded almost cordially when she greeted him. Remus would have tried to exchange a dumbfounded look with Peter but Peter was already asleep on his desk.

Remus was even more surprised a moment later when Sirius asked McKinnon if she'd visited James in the hospital wing. James had gotten on the wrong end of a misplaced jinx during a duel between a couple of 5th years at dueling club the night before. Marlene and James had grown up together in Godric's Hollow and were quite close so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for her to visit but a) for Sirius to know enough of this to ask and b) that he'd ask at all was not something Remus would have thought likely to happen.

While Remus watched curious, Marlene responded that she had and Remus eagerly waited to see if Sirius would continue the conversation but alas it was then that class began and the pair didn't speak again.

Remus would have put the exchange out of his mind if it wasn't that not two weeks later as Remus was struggling with a Charms concept, Sirius casually suggested he ask McKinnon for help. "She's brilliant at Charms," he said in explanation from where he was sitting in an armchair playing chess with Peter. James was in detention for pranking the fifth year that had hit him with the jinx two weeks ago.

"How do you know that?" Remus had asked curiously, looking at his friend. Sirius didn't bother knowing things about other people.

He shrugged casually not looking up from the game. "James," he said like it was obvious. Only when Remus was later raving to James about how helpful and good at Charms Marlene had been when he'd asked her for help, James was as amazed and surprised as Remus had been earlier.

"Really?" he'd asked eagerly. "Well now I know who I'm copying my Charms homework off of when I forget to do it!"

"But-" Remus had tried to reply but James had spotted Sirius and Peter across the room and he'd darted away. Remus looked after his friend in confusion until his eyes stopped on Sirius who'd thrown his head back in laughter at some story James was telling. He remembered the interaction between Marlene and Sirius from when James had been absent and that was when a crazy idea dawned on him; that maybe, just maybe, Sirius Black had a crush.

Come third year and it had become a well known fact that the only girl to regularly be seen with the Marauders was Marlene McKinnon. Everyone thought it was because of her history with James but Remus knew better. He knew it was because Sirius accepted her. He knew this not because Sirius had said it was alright for her to hang around but because he hadn't said anything. Usually anytime a girl wanted to hang around them, with James, Remus, or even upon occasion Peter, Sirius was bound to tolerate them for only so long and then the minute he made a comment against them, the Marauder's stopped letting the girl hang around, and she was never seen again. But Marlene was different, he accepted her, and she quickly found her own little place with the Marauders.

Despite her goody-two-shoes persona she kept up with their banter, she made them laugh, and she was impressed with their pranks instead of being annoyed like Lily. Marlene, like Remus, knew how much magical ability and skill most of their pranks took, if the pranks at times could be a bit immature.

It was around this time that Remus became convinced of his theory about Sirius liking Marlene. And it wasn't because Sirius had let her hang out with them or because he'd started flirting with her when she hung out with them, or because he sought her out when she wasn't with them or because he was staring at her more because he hadn't done any of those things. No it was because of what happened one Hogsmeade day in April, just before the Easter holidays.

Marlene had agreed to leave her best friends, Hestia Jones and Alice Prewitt, to fend for themselves for the day, and had agreed to accompany the Marauders to the village instead. James had been making comments to her for weeks about how she must not really love them if she'd never been to Hogsmeade with them and the night before she'd finally given in and agreed to go with them.

Remus had watched Sirius for a reaction but if he'd cared about the arrangement he hadn't let on.

The next day as they were lining up to leave the castle a Hufflepuff fourth year came up to the group and asked Sirius if he'd be interested in meeting her for a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. Sirius had stared at her in confusion and told her pointedly, "No. I'm spending the day with my mates." The girl had then left embarrassed and Sirius had turned to his unusually quiet friends and Marlene. All wore faces set in varying degrees of amusement: James was grinning, Remus had a small smile, Marlene was practically laughing and Peter was confused but amused because his friends were.

"Don't like to let 'em down easy, eh Sirius?" Marlene had asked as the group headed out the oak front doors.

"Well it's not like she could possibly think I was going to say yes and leave you lot. Why even ask?" Sirius was astounded.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because she _fancy's_ you," Marlene had said airily. James had chocked out a laugh and Remus smiled wider. Sirius scoffed.

"As if I want a girl in my life. You're about all I can handle Mack," he'd replied throwing an arm around the girl.

"Too right," she'd said back putting her arm around him as well. They'd walked the rest of the way to the village like that chatting easily with James and Peter, never knowing that Remus was smiling to himself and taking silent bets on when Sirius and Marlene would start dating.

By fifth year it became a well known fact that to attempt to date Marlene McKinnon meant dealing with the combined over protectiveness of James Potter and Sirius Black, not to mention Marlene's actual brothers, Marc and Mason. Sirius said he did it only because James did but Remus saw the glint of jealousy and protectiveness in his eyes whenever a boy made eyes at Marlene, which happened a lot over the years. Marlene was in a word, stunning. She had long golden blonde wavy hair, big sapphire blue eyes that seemed to change color like the sea, full pert lips, and she was tall and curvy to boot. Everyone noticed Marlene McKinnon. But everyone learned it wasn't worth trying to get close to her.

If it wasn't her brother deterring the suitor, it was James and Sirius, and if a suitor did manage to get through it was Marlene herself. Marlene knew how to say no. Remus didn't think this was because Marlene was like Sirius in that she didn't want to date, it seemed like she truly was oblivious to how boys saw her and she didn't care and if she was going to date she was going to do it like she did everything else, with her whole heart and she would expect nothing less of any man she dated.

James and Sirius of course found this hysterical, particularly after they had found a poor sixth year Ravenclaw soaking wet in a fountain in the courtyard after they'd been too late to keep him from asking Marlene out. She hadn't take well to the known man-whore asking her out with the leer he'd had on and the arrogance to assume she couldn't resist him, as she'd casually told the laughing duo when they asked what happened. Remus, who'd seen the whole thing, had made a mental note to never annoy the usually bookish and docile Marlene McKinnon.

She also told them if they were so determined to make sure arseholes like that didn't ask her out then they'd better start doing a better job. James had laughed at that and Sirius had looked at her a bit in awe, for once not carefully controlling his facial expression. Remus smiled to himself. That Sirius was in deep was of no doubt to him.

It was also this year that Remus realized that while Sirius never openly stared at Marlene like so many others, he always sat himself so that she was within sight and if Remus was really paying attention he could swear he'd catch Sirius using his peripheral vision to watch her and would bet anything that Sirius was perhaps more aware of what she was doing than James was of what Lily was doing, and that was saying something.

By sixth year it was a well known fact that one Bertram Aubrey, Hufflepuff Quidditch captain, Head Boy, golden haired and sunny of disposition, was the heartthrob of the girls of Hogwarts. Well he was a close second behind Sirius, but Sirius didn't date, Bertram did. And at the start of Remus's sixth year he was currently dating Marlene McKinnon. Remus was shocked. But he was more shocked by how Sirius had reacted: it was like he didn't even care. Remus asked James about the budding new relationship and he'd grudgingly told Remus that even he couldn't come up with a reason for her not to date him. And Remus had thought well that's the end of that.

But he was wrong. It took him about two weeks into the term to finally notice it: Sirius always sat with his back to Marlene, he no longer said hi to her if it wasn't necessary, he treated her just like all the other girls at the school with less flirting, and Remus never failed to notice the way Sirius stiffened whenever Marlene and Aubrey were seen holding hands or kissing. His tone when he did talk to her was teasing as always but it had an edge to it. And all was confirmed by what happened in the common room about a month into term.

Marlene had just walked into the common room through the portrait hole, looking flushed and smiling to herself. Remus had noticed Sirius's eyes narrow but otherwise stay on the paper in front of him. She'd then come over and plopped down next to James and put her arms around her friend leaning her head on his shoulder. James had looked surprised and remarked about how happy she was. Sirius had continued to ignore her. She told James she'd been with Bert. Sirius not looking up from the homework he was actually working on for once had remarked, "Oh yes how is Aubrey? Seems you've been spending all your time with him." They had all frozen, Remus looking up sharply form his own essay nervous. If one didn't know Sirius one would have thought he was being teasing, but everyone there had recognized the challenge in his voice, the implication.

Marlene for her part had sat up angrily from James's shoulder.

"What are you implying, Black?" she'd challenged coldly. Sirius looked up at her from under his eyebrows a lazy yet sultry smile on his face.

"Sirius," James had warned but Marlene cut him off.

"No, let him. I want to hear what he has to say. What did you mean?" She stared Sirius down. The way she was looking at him was intense and Remus couldn't help but feel he was missing something, that something had happened between the two that no body but them knew.

"Oh I think you know what I'm implying. Just remember when when he gets you on your back, your legs spread wide and willing, and then leaves don't say I didn't warn you." Marlene's face had gone pale, the hurt in her eyes apparent, her mouth open in a small 'o' of shock. Sirius had stared back unconcerned before lazily going back to his essay, clearly satisfied.

"Go to hell Black," Marlene spat her voice shaking and rising she went to sit with Hestia and Alice.

"Harsh Pads," James had said rising to follow her. Even Peter got up to leave, joining instead a group of 5th years playing exploding snap. Remus had just settled in to finish up his essay.

A few moments had passed before, "Not going to leave me too Moony?"

"Don't think it's because I approve but no." Remus remembered that Sirius had snorted. Remus had looked at him then. "Did you have to be so mean?"

Sirius had shrugged. "Just saying it how it is."

"Come on, Aubrey's a good guy. He's not like that." Sirius raised his eyebrows at him.

"He's a seventeen year old bloke. Of course he is. Besides he doesn't deserve her." Remus had rolled his eyes and dipped his quill into the ink pot they'd been sharing.

"Oh and I suppose you know of someone who does?" Sirius hadn't answered right away. In fact he was quiet so long and his quill not scratching that Remus had finally looked up setting his own quill down. What he'd seen had surprised him more than anything Sirius had ever done. He was staring across the room where Marlene was sitting with James, Hestia, and Alice, who all appeared to be trying to cheer her up, but Remus could tell despite the small smile she wore that they weren't having much luck. Now Sirius staring at the object of their conversation wasn't what was weird, what was weird was the serious look on his face, the contemplativeness of it, the tenderness; it wasn't a look Remus had ever seen on his face before.

"No," Sirius had finally spoken. "No one deserves her."

Sirius bid Remus good night shortly after this but his comment had made Remus realize how not over Marlene Sirius was. It was this comment more than anything else that confirmed all Remus had suspected over the years.

After this Marlene refused to speak to Sirius and it seemed she went out of her way, at least from Remus's perspective, to anger and annoy Sirius by flaunting her relationship with Aubrey. They could always be seen in the hallways or passages where Sirius and the rest were sure to pass them and she brought him back to their common room on more than one occasion. When she was in the common room or at the table in the Great Hall sitting near him she loudly shared stories of how sweet Aubrey had been to Alice and Hestia, smirking in satisfaction when Sirius would leave earlier than he needed too.

Sirius did a good job of pretending it didn't annoy him, no outwardly his face was never anything but calmly disdainful, but Remus saw more and he knew Sirius was close to cracking after three weeks of this behavior. He'd developed an annoying habit every time he saw her in the common room with Aubrey where he tapped the butt of his wand on the closest surface, more often than not the table that Remus was using to do his homework on. He wasn't even facing them but Remus assumed just knowing they were cuddled up across the common room was driving him insane. Remus was close to cracking as well. The full moon was coming up and his temper always short around that time was even shorter after an hour of tapping. When Sirius's leg started jiggling shaking the whole table, causing Remus to spill ink all over his almost finished astronomy essay he snapped.

"You know just because Marlene is dating Aubrey instead of you, doesn't mean you get to bring the rest of us down with your moping!" he snapped yanking Sirius's wand out of his hand and using his own to mop up the ink, hoping to salvage at least some of the essay. If Remus hadn't been so annoyed he might have found the seen that was before him as rather comical. Sirius had paled, his grey eyes wide both at Remus's outburst and at what he'd said and James's brow was furrowed in complete confusion, his mouth open in a perplexed oval as he tried to make sense of what Remus had said.

"Why would Padfoot want to be dating Marls instead of Aubrey?" James had finally asked.

Remus had looked at him unbelieving. "Honestly Prongs, how have you failed to notice Pads has had a crush on Marlene since our first year?"

"I have not!" Sirius had exclaimed defensive, a little too defensive. Remus wasn't deterred. He was annoyed with Sirius and was sick of not sharing what he'd observed. Instead he'd turned to James.

"See. He's even doing his over defensive thing that he does to compensate." Sirius had scowled.

"I don't do that."

"You sort of do Pads," James had said brightly. Sirius had glared at him. James held up his hands defensively. "Not saying Moony is right about why you are using it but you do do it."

"Whatever. I'm going to bed." Sirius rose and headed up to the dormitory. Remus had watched him go feeling a sudden stab of guilt for provoking his friend.

James had looked at Remus then and softly asked, "You really think he likes Marls?" Remus remembered sighing deeply and setting his quill down.

"Without a doubt."

"But he doesn't date. Like anyone. He doesn't even talk about girls."

"Because not just anyone is Marlene McKinnon."

"I didn't know." James had said looking dejected. "Did he tell you?"

Remus snorted. "Of course not. This is Sirius Black we're talking about you know. I just picked it up over the years." James looked a little better. He started staring over at where Marlene was laughing with Aubrey.

"They'd be good together you think?" he asked.

"Yeah. She'd certainly be good for him. But Aubrey's not a bad bloke either."

"No," James had said still watching them. "No, I suppose not."

Remus looked up sharply; he knew that tone.

"Whatever you're thinking James. No. Don't do it."

James looked at him innocently, too innocently.

"What? I'm not going to _do_ anything."

"Uh huh," Remus had said unconvinced.

"Oh come on Moony. Don't you think we owe it to Padfoot to help him out with this!"

"We are talking about the same Sirius Black, right? The one we've shared a dorm with for six years, who doesn't like people involved in his personal life. He'd kill us if we got involved. No I shouldn't have even said anything at all. Good thing Wormy isn't here otherwise Sirius might have killed me then. He hates it when Wormtail knows too much about his personal life."

"Fine," James had deflated. "You're right."

"So you're going to drop it?"

"Yes. But I'm not going to be happy about it."

Three days later James had seemed to have completely forgotten it had ever happened and Sirius had pretended the conversation had never happened, though he was now resolutely ignoring Marlene, who was now trying to make an effort to speak to him. After he'd blown right past her and ignored her tentative hello one morning in the Great Hall she turned hurt to Remus.

"What am I supposed to have done?"

"Er-" Remus had replied nervously looking for James hoping he'd save him. Unfortunately James was too busy chatting with Lily. The pair had slowly become friends over the course of the year. Remus was on his own. He'd frantically cast around for something to tell her. He couldn't very well come out and say "Well you see Marls, Sirius is mad at you for dating Aubrey. But I can't tell you as its because he's had a crush on you for years but you don't seem to return his feelings."

"Well I don't really know," Remus had hesitantly said instead.

"Oh forget it. Keep his secrets. Stupid Marauders and your bloody honor code," she'd snapped storming out the hall, leaving behind a stunned Remus. Marlene never swore at him. Sure she'd sworn at James and Sirius when they were being especially dim but never him. She must not be taking Sirius's silent treatment well.

Two days after that Marlene had entered through the portrait hole tears streaming down her face. James and Sirius had risen at the same time but it was Sirius who got there first pulling her into a hug. She'd tried to push him off but he wouldn't move and eventually she gave in sobbing into the front of his robes. They'd later found out she'd just caught Aubrey wrapped up with his ex-girlfriend behind a suit of armor on the fifth floor. Sirius and James's faces had gone dark when she'd finally gotten the story out and later when Marlene went with Hestia and Alice up to their dorm for some girl soothing time they'd exchanged a glance and nodded. As one they'd risen, headed to the dorm, and came back with a familiar piece of parchment sticking out of Sirius's pocket before exiting the common room with purpose. Remus had merely settled back into his armchair with his book. He knew they were going to find Aubrey and he wasn't going to do a thing to stop them. The git deserved everything his friends could dish out.

After the giant headed Bertram Aubrey incident died had down Remus noticed a big change in Sirius and Marlene's relationship. He saw her looking at him across the room, saw him notice almost before she'd looked and he'd turn meeting her eyes and smile at her. She always smiled back. There was something secret in those smiles, something intimate and Remus was happy for his friend. Sirius could even be seen sitting with Marlene talking or doing school work sans James. The changes were so subtle that no one who hadn't been around the two of them for so long would have ever noticed. But Remus noticed. If they weren't dating yet he felt sure they would be soon.

By seventh year it had become a well known fact that the Hogwarts "it" couple was Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black. Only James and Lily, when they finally started going out, were even close to rivaling them. Now they weren't the sort of couple to get caught snogging all over the castle or the one to be so sickeningly in love that no one could stand to be around them. No the only way anyone even figured out they were dating was when Sirius kissed her good bye on her way to class one day near the beginning of November of their sixth year. To this day Remus would swear that you could feel the shock wave that hit the students of Hogwarts upon witnessing this simple kiss in the Great Hall and he was sure he saw McGonagall and Dumbledore exchange small knowing smiles.

If Remus had thought Sirius having a girlfriend would interfere with their friend group he was to be mistaken. Sirius and Marlene acted much the same as before, he still hung out with the rest of the Marauders the same amount of time. The only noticeable difference to Remus was that now when Marlene was with them Sirius would either hold her hand as they all walked to class while both still chatted with the group, and in the common room Sirius didn't hide it when he was staring at her across the room while she studied with her friends, or she would be in his arms on a couch while the rest of the group laughed and played chess, or exploding snap. No other than that it was like nothing had changed, in fact it was like Marlene and Sirius had been dating for years, in fact people soon saw it that way too. The only difference that Remus could tell was that Sirius's bed would now be empty at night or Remus would wake up to see a blonde head tangled up with Sirius'.

The first time that had happened in sixth year James had woken the entire dorm with a loud, "You did NOT Padfoot!" followed by a loud thump that Remus later learned was Marlene falling out of the bed.

James had thought they'd been doing "stuff", the Marauder code for "sexy activities with ladies" while the rest slept and the Marauders had a long standing rule, no girl action while the rest were in the room. Marlene had hotly replied that they hadn't done anything, her cheeks red in embarrassment. That she'd merely come to apologize for an argument they'd had earlier.

"Oh right your can't go to bed mad thing," James had sheepishly admitted before beginning a lecture on sexual safety nonetheless. Remus had then thrown a pillow at his friend for waking them all up for nothing, telling him to stop being a prat and let the two be,"just because you don't have a girlfriend."

No the only thing that really changed for Remus was that as a Marauder girlfriend, Marlene was now privy to their secrets, well some of them. Remus had been shocked to learn that she'd known almost as long as James, Sirius, and Peter about him being a werewolf. That she'd never even blinked an eye at it made Remus grateful, but now Marlene knew about the animagi and as such she had started calling them all by their nicknames.

No overall Remus had never felt more welcoming of the addition to their little group. Marlene made Sirius a better person and he made her happy and carefree.

Now they may have been the golden couple but they were watched with a wide range of curiosity from many in the castle. Women still flirted with Sirius or gazed longingly at him; men still chatted up Marlene under the guise of needing homework help, but what amazed Remus was that he never once saw an ounce of jealousy in either Sirius or Marlene.

He remembered one particular day in seventh year when Marlene had been across the common room at a Quidditch after party drinking a beer with the handsome 6th year Gryffindor seeker, she had burst out laughing loudly at something the boy had said. Sirius who'd been next to Remus on the couch had looked up. Remus had stiffened thinking Sirius was going to be jealous. Instead he'd smiled. Remus looked back at Marlene and saw why. She may have been laughing and chatting with the seeker but she was staring back at Sirius a soft look on her face that hadn't been there before. And that's when Remus realized it. Sirius Black was in love and Marlene McKinnon was in love right back and they were so confident in their love and in each other that they weren't jealous. They were so caught up in the other that they didn't even notice anyone else.

Sirius had looked away then, turning to Remus.

"Glad Mack is having fun. She needs it, she's been stressing about NEWTs. What do you say we grab some firewhiskey and have some fun too?" Remus had nodded bemused and followed his friend to where Peter was dolling out shots of firewhiskey. They'd soon been joined by Marlene but Remus was too drunk at this point to pay attention to anyone but Dorcas Meadowes, his on again-off again hook-up, at this point, even to the Golden couple of Hogwarts.

By summer of 1978 it was a well known fact that they were in a war and that Sirius and Marlene hated each other. They couldn't even be in the same room together without making all of their friends uncomfortable. It wasn't like they shouted at one another or glared at each other or even avoided talking in groups together it was that they didn't speak to each other ever, they didn't look at each other, and Sirius became downright moody whenever she was around, sullen and mean; all in all it made Order meetings rather uncomfortable.

What was worse is that no one, not even James, knew what had happened, but it was without a doubt hardest on him as he'd had to pick a side between his two best friends. Remus knew that James had gotten used to being around them both but now he felt he had to schedule times to see them and make sure the times were separate. Even observant Remus didn't know what had happened, but this might have had more to do with the fact that he had more to think about than the love-life of one of his best mates. The war distracted them all, but maybe if Remus had continued to observe his friends he might have remembered the attack on Marlene just after graduation, he might have remembered whose family members had been a part of it, and he might have noticed that something about Sirius and Marlene's behavior didn't quite add up, but he didn't.

Just before Harry's first birthday it had become a well known fact that the Order was outnumbered and the Death Eaters were picking them off one by one.

When they heard the call they'd been at James', him, Sirius and James. Fabian Prewitt's patronus , " _They found the McKinnons. Reinforcements needed"_. Remus's blood had run cold, but Sirius had bolted for the door before the message had even finished. They were too late. When Remus heard the most agonized dog like howl he'd ever heard he looked at James tears already in his eyes. The house was in shambles, bodies littered the ground. James had run for the house, Remus hot on his heels.

They'd found Sirius upstairs a motionless blonde form cradled in his arms. He was rocking back and forth his face buried in her hair, making the worst gut wrenching sobs, repeating the same two sentences over and over. It was hardly intelligible through the tears but Remus heard it. "My fault. I'm sorry Mack." His voice was broken, so very broken. He stepped closer and put a hand on Sirius's back. His friend had flinched and then sobbed harder. Remus looked down at Marlene and caught a flash of light on her left hand. It was a wedding ring. His heart plummeted. He hadn't known. She must have been magically hiding it.

Hours later as Remus helped everyone clean up the mess that was the McKinnon manor, Remus looked up to see Sirius apparate away a bundle cradled gently in his arms. Remus's eyes burned. He had a feeling he knew what, or rather who, was in that bundle. Again he hadn't known.

By the time Dumbledore approached Remus about the Defense Against the Dark Arts position it was a well-known fact that Remus was a shadow and a sham who didn't know anything. He hadn't known friends who he'd thought were as close as the Marauder's were could betray each other, Sirius especially, he hadn't thought that at 21 he would lose the only good thing he'd ever had in life; friends, more than that _family_ ; he hadn't known he'd live so much life with nothing.

But when Remus returned to the train compartment where he'd left Harry, _Harry_ , James's _son_ , and saw a blonde almost fourteen year old girl cradled next to Harry, looking back at him with a pair of cool grey eyes he thought he'd never see again, he did know something then; he knew that whatever Sirius had become he had loved Marlene and he must have loved this girl, his _daughter_ , at least he'd loved her enough to save her, to protect her from the death eaters who'd killed her mother.

And so it was that Remus realized there were still things that no body knew about Sirius Black, things they would never know. They'd never know he'd gotten married, and the world would never know that he'd loved Marlene McKinnon. People thought he didn't date, because they thought he couldn't love, but no he didn't date because being with Marlene was beyond that, it was life and death, she meant more than anything and Marlene's daughter, _his_ daughter, had meant something to him too, and so it was that Remus vowed to watch again and to look after both the girl he'd never known about and the boy he'd played with as a small child, and not for what Sirius had become but for what he'd been, for what he and James both had been to him and for Marlene and Lily, the women who'd loved his friends.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Thank you JK Rowling for creating such a wonderful world and letting us play with it here on Fanfiction!**

* * *

 **5th year:**

"Whatcha doing?"

Marlene didn't look up. In fact she didn't acknowledge that he'd spoken at all. Sirius Black leaned forward, and waved a hand in front of the blondes face. She blinked but continued scribbling furiously on her practice exam. Sirius leaned back sighing.

It was spring and the first nice day of the season to boot and all anyone wanted to do was study. Even James was currently in the library with Remus and Peter, on the pretense of studying. Sirius bet it was more for the hope of spotting Evans than to actually study though. Sirius on the other hand was bored and didn't want to study anymore, not that he really had been.

He rested his head on his hand and continued to watch Marlene thoughtfully. She was rather pretty when she was studying. She was weirdly more relaxed than usual, not worried about her facial expression or what she should say or how she looked, her long thick wavy blonde hair pulled back into a low pony as it always was when she studied. Sirius liked that - liked seeing her more relaxed. But he'd been sitting with her and watching her study for far too long today. It was time to take a break. Now he just needed to figure out how to get the 5th year resident bookworm to take one.

He started taping the fingers of the hand not holding his head up on the table in a careless pattern, a small smile on his face. He saw her face twitch in annoyance and his smile grew. After five minutes of this she finally looked up, her blue eyes sparkling.

"Honestly Black, you know I'm studying so what could you possibly want?" Her tone was exasperated but Sirius knew Marlene too well; he noticed the slight tensing of the muscles by her mouth that indicated she was trying not to smile. Sirius was one of the few people who knew how to get Marlene to relax without studying and he knew it.

"Don't you think you've studied Potions long enough?" Sirius asked sweetly.

"No," Marlene replied bluntly. She cocked her head to the side. "You do realize exams start in two weeks, right?" Sirius waved her off, unconcerned.

"I merely meant why don't we take a break from Potions and study something else."

Marlene narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Sirius fixed his face in a mask of innocence.

Marlene finally sat back and set her quill down. "Alright. What are you suggesting?" Sirius beamed.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her out the portrait hole with a, "Come on!"

He felt more than saw her surprise as he pulled her along, but after an initial, "Wait! Sirius, don't we need our books?" And the reply, "Not for a practical!" she allowed herself to be pulled along with no resistance.

When they reached the oak front doors Marlene stopped and pulled her arm away.

"Sirius," she said warily looking toward the doors.

He responded with his signature puppy dog eyes.

"I promise we'll be studying, Mack," he swore. Yes he had an ulterior motive, get outside, but if he had to he'd make this excursion into a practical.

Marlene chewed on her bottom lip thinking. Sirius knew she was wrestling with her control freak self who needed to be studying and with her desire to not be cooped up in the castle any longer and debating whether it would be worth it to trust Sirius that he actually intended to study while also enjoying the outdoors.

"Come on Mack. Would I ever lie to you?" Sirius beseeched. She met his eyes and smiled.

"Yes. But I trust you. Let's go." Marlene then left a surprised Sirius and headed out the doors. Sirius grinned despite himself and followed her out.

Outside Marlene's normally perfectly kept hair was being rustled about in the wind giving her long waves that sexy wind tossed look. Sirius swallowed. She turned to him then a small smile on her face. She was radiant.

"Where to now, Black?" She asked a small smile on her lips, still using his last name to keep up the pretense that she might still be annoyed with him but he wasn't buying it. Already some of the tension from exams had seeped away from her. Sirius smiled back in answer - how could he not when she looked like that?

"Follow me." He led her down towards the lake and proceeded to walk to the far side, Marlene trailing along just behind him.

It really was a beautiful day: sunny and warm a gentle breeze rustling the new leaves on the trees, and through their hair, the smell of summer on the air.

"Did you know spring was my favorite season?" Marlene spoke softly from behind him. Without turning Sirius smiled. He had, but like hell he'd admit it.

"I didn't. Why is that?" he asked instead. His smile only grew at her answer.

"Because spring feels like coming alive, like I've been dormant for too long and I'm just waking up. Everything is new and I feel like the whole world is before me and that anything is possible."

Sirius cast a glance back at her and what he saw he'd be embarrassed to admit quickened his heart and almost made him stop in wonderment.

She was beautiful but not just physically cause Sirius had felt that kind of attraction to girls before and this wasn't like that. This even he recognized as something different; but then it always had been something different with Marlene McKinnon.

Marlene's hair was blowing gently, her face set in softness, the stresses of the past weeks and stress over upcoming exams nowhere to be seen, her body carefree for just a moment, her eyes soft, looking around in contentment and with just a little bit of feverish excitement. Sirius caught himself before he said something stupid like that she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and suddenly her blue eyes met his gray ones. He started and continued on saying instead, "Oh yeah McKinnon? Well maybe that's because it is." Marlene smiled.

They soon reached the little tide pool, so to speak, of the Great Lake that Sirius had been heading for. He stopped under the trees and proceeded to take his shoes off and roll up his pants and his shirt sleeves, his tie slightly askew. Marlene stared at him.

"Uh, Sirius? What are you doing?" She asked.

"Prepping for our practical. I suggest you do the same," he easily replied. Then he shot her a wink and began wading into the cool waters of the lake, his wand held casually in his hand to clear away the muck his feet were tossing up, his eyes searching the waters.

"Er - just what kind of practical is this exactly?" Marlene asked from the shore biting her lip. Sirius looked back at her. The stress was creeping back onto her face and Sirius didn't like that one bit. Luckily, Sirius found what he was looking for. Bending, he pulled up a slimy green plant. He held it up triumphantly.

"Water plants! It's a practical for Herbology," he said with gusto. Marlene's eyes widened with interest and surprise. Soon she was wading out to him, bending her head close to look at the plant. Sirius smelled her vanilla and coconut shampoo and began rambling on about the plants magical properties and how it was useful lest he do something crazy like try to kiss her. If Marlene noticed his rambling was a cover she didn't act like it instead listening raptly and asking questions or adding her own knowledge about the plant.

Soon they'd relaxed into an easy system and the pair proceeded to wade and do the same for all the aquatic plants they found in the shallow pool of the Great Lake. Sirius was surprised to find he was actually enjoying himself. He'd always had a weird fascination with Herbology, especially water plants and it was a good excuse to both be outside and spending time with Marlene.

Not that he particularly wanted to spend time with Marlene. They were friends. Just friends.

"Sirius! Over here! I think I found an Armesic Waterdragon! I didn't even know they could be found in the Great Lake!" Marlene's excited shout caught him. Sirius turned to her to see her bent over a plant in the shallows the ends of her hair dipping into the water, pure delight and happiness on her face. Smiling Sirius made his way over to her. No they were just friends.

* * *

 **a/n: So I realized awhile back when I first wrote the Remus Lupin chapter of this that there really are a lot of untold stories for these two so I've deiced to do something a little different with this story and add some more chapters! Each of the chapters will be written a bit differently, from differnt POVs and with different narrators but they will all be about Sirius, Marlene and their friends. I have a few more that I know I want to write (and some I've already written) but I also wanted to open this up to user input. What I mean by that is that each of these chapters might contain mention of a story or event that you want explored more - for instance the first chapter is only ever told from Remus's POV and a lot happens off scene, as it were, that he wasn't involved in and had to infer (most of which he did a bang up job on - but he still missed a lot, this couple was rather sneaky...), so if you want further explanation for one of those instances then let me know and I'll see what I can do! Or if you think this all is a very stupid idea and that I should have just left well enough alone with the first chapter then let me know that too! I won't be offended :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: AAAANNNNNDDDD I'm back! Hope you don't hate me overmuch and here is another installment in the random series of events of this story.**

 **Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns, I take no credit**

* * *

 **The First Time:**

The first time I saw him, I wanted to cry. Not a usual reaction when meeting the boy who would come to mean more to you than any other. Now it wasn't because of anything he'd said - or did - or even because he was about the most arrogant person I had ever met - let alone for an eleven year old! No, it wasn't because for any of those reasons. It was simply because he wasn't the boy I wanted to see - he didn't know me, I didn't know him and he wasn't going to be able to calm my pounding heart nor the rising panic I felt clawing at my throat.

Of course I'd heard of the Black family - who hadn't? They were famous for their pureblood mania - marrying cousin to cousin to keep the line _pure_ \- and for their promotion of the Dark Arts. What they weren't known for, though, was getting sorted into Gryffindor. But then neither were the McKinnon's. That and the fact that my parents were going to kill me - I'd broken centuries of tradition by getting sorted into Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw - the only thoughts flashing through my head as I made my way to the Gryffindor table.

I sat in the empty seat at the end of the table, heart pounding in my ears, not noticing it was the seat next to Black.

"Congratulations," a teasing voice said to me. "I see we have a rebel on our hands." It was Black. I ignored him. But I couldn't ignore the tears I felt well up and burn in my eyes. In one sentence he had summed up all my guilt.

I pointedly looked to the front of the Great Hall, knowing if I spoke or met his eyes I'd start crying and that wouldn't be a good reaction.

My eyes instead met the kind hazel ones of James Potter, my best friend since before I could remember. We grew up together in Godric's Hollow. I hadn't seen him since the previous night for a going away dinner at the Potter's. We'd decided to not sit together on the train as we hadn't thought we'd get the same house. We'd promised to stay friends in that innocent way of eleven year old best friends but we hadn't wanted to rely on the other. If I was honest with myself though - I'd chosen James. He was the reason I'd ever dreamed to want to be sorted into Gryffindor, no doubt the reason why when the Sorting Hat had asked in my head if I'd really wanted Gryffindor, I had immediately, and rather fiercely I might add, thought yes.

In that one look to James though, I knew he understood, he was just a good friend like that. He knew what I was risking with my parents, and he knew I'd chosen him, chosen adventure over tradition. And James knew I was looking at him because I couldn't bare to look over towards the Ravenclaw table and see the disappointment in my two older brother's eyes.

When the hat called "Gyffindor!" nearly the instant it was placed on James' head, he slipped right in next to me giving me a comforting hug. It felt good and familiar and made me forget for a little while how much I was disappointing my family.

The second time I saw him, I was in an empty classroom on the fifth floor my eyes red and swollen from the many tears I'd shed, the letter from my parents I'd received at breakfast clutched in my hands. I'd finally read it. And it was just as awful as I'd thought.

It was as I was reading it for the umpteenth time that I saw the black haired boy edge his way silently into the room. It was Sirius Black.

I was about to silently slip out myself, so as not to be noticed when I froze catching sight of the red envelope clutched in his white hands.

 _How could he possibly have already gotten a howler?_ I had time to think before Black opened the letter and a shrill woman's voice rang out. It took me about five seconds before my mouth dropped open. Another five for me to truly accept that the woman shouting was his _mother_ and to comprehend how _horrible_ she was. She went on and on about the tradition he was breaking, how disappointed she and his father were, how he was setting a bad example for his brother, how years of grooming were wasted, how his behavior reflected on the whole family and it didn't make them look good, how he'd always been a disgrace for a son. Finally, after what felt like hours but was probably no more than 15 minutes the howler ended with a threatening "Wait 'til you get home."

I was shocked. I was even more shocked to see the silent tears that were running in two rivers down Black's - no _Sirius_ ' - otherwise stoic face. I felt my heart soften at the sight of them. We were the same. Two kids who'd disappointed their far from perfect parents but who - despite it all - still cared.

It was this realization that prompted me to speak. It was this moment that made me realize Sirius Black wasn't all those things people said about him and his family and it was this moment when our relationship really began, when we became forever connected, first in friendship and then in love, for their was no one, though I didn't know it then, who would come to mean more to me than Sirius Black.

* * *

The first time I saw her it wasn't love at first sight. Far from it. More like "eh, I'll deal" at first sight. You see I wanted to be friends with James and she already was. They'd grown up together in Godric's Hollow, both from two well respected and old wizarding families. Not as old as mine but without all the years of obsession with being purebloods.

When she sat down next to me on the bench at the Gryffindor table she didn't strike me as gorgeous and I wasn't naming our first born child like I'm sure James thought when he first saw Lily. No, I was remembering James telling me about his friend on the train and realizing this was must be the girl he'd been talking about. Sure enough, I was proven correct when he joined us at the table and I saw first hand how close they were.

I wanted that friendship too and so I knew I'd have to put up with her. Not more than a week later I realized something else: I wanted to be friends with her too.

It was the day after the sorting and I'd have been lying if I hadn't been expecting it but it still sickened me to see the family owl flying down, a crimson red howler in it's beak, a howler no doubt from my dear mother. I also couldn't help but find it typical that my appearance conscience parents had made sure the ruddy bird delivered the howler when I was well alone.

I'd been headed down to meet James, as well as two of our dorm mates Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, for dinner when I'd been delayed by my older cousin Bella, who'd taken it upon herself to warn me about who I made friends with while at Hogwarts. As if that was going to make me anything but annoyed and standoffish. Needless to say I was already in a bad mood and the sight of the howler just made it worse. At least none of my new friends would be around to witness what was sure to be a dreadful howler.

The bird flew down to me while I walked along the otherwise empty fifth floor corridor, dropped the letter at my feet and before flying away, took a hearty bite of my finger. Cursing, I stuck my finger in my mouth - damn bird had always hated me - before I looked down at the crimson letter on the floor.

I felt the blood drain from my face but I picked up the letter and after darting into an empty classroom I opened it not wanting to postpone the inevitable.

I sat and stone faced listened as my mother's voice filled the room with words of annoyance, anger and disappointment. She shouted at me about how I was throwing away years of tradition, that I was an embarrassment to the house of Black, that any house would have been preferable to Gryffindor, that I better make sure to only befriend worthy candidates - on and on she went finishing with an ominous "Just wait until you get home!" that almost made me flinch.

And then finally the room was silent, the silence seeming to ring in my ears, mocking the previous noise. I didn't move. I just continued to stare at the place where the letter had been. Then I heard it, movement in the corner, a desk chair shifting.

"And I thought my parents were bad," a kind voice said in sympathy. I turned to see her, Marlene, James' friend. I barely had time to register my shock at seeing her before she spoke again.

Holding up a letter, she read in a mocking and superior tone, "'We expect nothing but top marks, Marlene. Just because you are in the known lazy house does not mean you aren't capable of better. Your father and I certainly expected Ravenclaw but this set back won't hurt us.'" The girl's ocean blue eyes met mine then. "They use 'us' as if _they_ have anything to do with _my_ plans. They are bloody insane," she finished with a shake of her head, pieces of her long blond hair slipping from the low bun she had it pulled back in.

She sounded full of bravado but I saw her red-rimmed eyes; she was clearly upset.

I looked away and shrugged, not wanting to continue the conversation.

"Welcome to the club. Not like I care anyway," I said. She cocked her head and looked at me funny.

"Is that why you are crying?" she asked. "Because you don't care?"

I started and wiped at my eyes, having not noticed the tears that had indeed leaked out. What was wrong with me that I'd become conditioned to not even know when I was crying?

I looked away from her then, embarrassed. I thought I'd managed to keep my feelings to myself at least.

"Look, let's just get out of here," I quickly changed the subject. "Have you been to dinner yet?"

She shook her head and we started down together walking in complete silence. To be honest it was more than a bit awkward. I had no idea what to say, in fact I was mostly hoping we could just leave this behind us and pretend it had never happened.

Marlene had other ideas though, as I would soon learn she always did. She spoke then, when we were somewhere along a third floor corridor, her voice soft and casual and yet full of a kindness I had never heard before when someone was speaking to me.

"You know, you aren't what they've tried to make you. You're better than that. Your mum was well out of order."

She sounded and looked so sincere that I felt my throat close up. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't speak. My eyes burned. All I could do was nod.

"You know what else?" she continued seeming to understand my silent reply. "I think you must be perfect for Gryffindor. You'd have to be brave to stand up to your family like that."

I looked at her then, strolling casually along beside me, amazed that she thought that and amazed that she'd somehow brought to light my deepest fear of the past few days; that I didn't belong with my family and that I didn't belong here in Gryffindor either. I felt lighter than I had in a long time that she thought this and hope bloomed in my chest as I began to believe that maybe, just maybe, she might be right.

When I looked at her though, I saw that while she believed wholeheartedly that this sentiment applied to me that she didn't believe it applied to herself. I saw her eyes cast down, biting her lip. She was rather sweet, I couldn't help but think. And far too kind of a person if she could offer comfort to me. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her - she'd made me feel better and she deserved the same from me.

"You know you are too," I said nudging her shoulder with mine and shooting her an encouraging smile as she looked up at me from under her eyelashes. "Brave, I mean. A true Gryffindor! The hat must have seen that in you, your bravery. It isn't easy going against your parents wishes - in fact it's downright risky but it's got to be worth it, otherwise we wouldn't be here."

She smiled weakly at me, hope beginning to shine in her eyes. She nodded then and I couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe she was starting to believe it too.

We continued walking then, the silence between us comfortable now, both of us knowing that something had changed, even if we didn't know what it was yet, but nevertheless feeling we were bound together now, the Gryffindor's that weren't supposed to be.

When we sat down at the Gryffindor table on either side of James, sharing a secret smile above his head when he inquired about where we'd been I felt a tug in my heart and I felt the connection between us cement, even though it would take me more than a few years to realize that this was when I began to fall irrevocably and completely in love with Marlene McKinnon.

* * *

 **a/n: A young Sirius and Marlene! D'aww! I tried to capture the innocence of eleven year olds but who knows how that came off. ..**

 **Drop me a line if you are feeling like it! :)**

 **Also just wanted to thank you if you sent in ideas for things you wanted to see in future chappie's! I will be sure to write up scenes covering that.**


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